dysfunctional communication

Dysfuntional communication arises when there is lack of attention, deception, perhaps unintentional, through denial, or intentional avoidance, manipulation or dishonesty. Unfortunately, at the moment, the little verbal communication I have with people is largely dysfunctional.

The only regular conversation I have is with my parents. It is dysfunctional because it is driven by denial and avoidance of things that must not be said, let alone challenged. It is like having to carefully navigate around high explosives, whilst walking on eggshells. Of course, this isn’t helped all that much their attentiveness (except to denial) is not good so that one is rarely heard and usually talked at and over. This is why I find it so burdensome and draining or, simply put, so sad to talk with them.

In about a week I am due to join a ten day course in France with a several hundred others, a few of which I know. Unfortunately, given this is a meditation course, there will be a gay couple that I know quite well there too. I say unfortunately as, having regarded them as friends over a number of years, in spite of some hints there was something amiss, I lately discovered, via a mutual acquaintance, that they are largely driven by petty ambition and paranoia to the extent that they have been quite ready to manipulate and undermine others which has lead to various unfortunate consequences, including my marginalisation within our local group. I know from the experience of others that it will not be realistic to mention this as, at any slight hint of criticism, they will go nuclear in an instant. It seems that the best option will be distant politeness.